


Cloning Capers

by meowchela



Category: Sam & Max
Genre: Cloning gone wrong, M/M, but its all for the best trust me trust me, but like....an au of that, hell gone wrong, oh also the hell gang is mentioned, ressurection attempt gone wrong, takes place during the cloning scene of 305, there r more more characters than the 1s tagged but i dont mention them by name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21578020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowchela/pseuds/meowchela
Summary: Sam’s efforts to bring Max back come to a devilishly convenient conclusion.
Relationships: Max/Sam (Sam & Max)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	Cloning Capers

“Okay, we have the sample. Now we just put it into the machine and wait.” Standing by the computer, Momma Bosco monitored the cloning process, while everyone else stood and waited in anticipation.  
Sam fiddled with his tie, the most uneasy one in the room. Thousands of thoughts were racing through his head, and not many were good.  
Finally, after a few agonizing minutes, the machine dinged and steam poured out of the opened chamber door.  
“Max…?” Sam prompted.  
As the smoke cleared, a lagomorph-shaped figure could be seen in the chamber, to everyone’s relief. However, once it was fully gone, they could all tell something was off. Or rather, a lot of somethings.  
Max was undeniably still Max, but now his fur had the slightest tint of teal to it with faint pink spots along his back, and his brown eyes had speckles of hot pink. His fluffy tail was now prominently spikier, and his spine stuck out a bit more. His teeth were significantly sharper and there were one too many of them. Most noticeably, though, were his ears: now with a slight droop, they had spots on the underside and got more teal the further up they went.  
Momma Bosco scrutinized the command console for a bit, then turned to everyone.  
“We’ve encountered a slight setback,” She announced, regret in her voice, “We only had enough DNA to recreate his body, and even then most of it came from his monster side due to the nature of the sample.”  
“What do you mean ‘only enough to recreate his body’? Max is still in there, right?” Sam gripped his tie, already knowing the answer but not wanting to believe it.  
“Well….not exactly.” Momma Bosco said. “It looks like Max, and was made from his DNA, but what we were given couldn’t save his personality or memories. It’s basically just an empty shell.” She knocked on the clone’s head for emphasis, to no response from the lagomorph. “I’m sorry, Sam. You can still keep it if you want.”  
Sam was silent. He took off his hat and looked at the floor, tears threatening to spill over. He knew this would happen. He had known all along, but in his disbelief had pushed everyone to the absolute limit to get even a sliver of a chance to bring him back.  
The sound of hooves on tile interrupted his thoughts, and he looked up to see the visage of the devil himself.  
“...Satan?” Sam said. “What are you doing here?”  
“I figured you’d all be down here,” Satan said, looking around at everyone. “I have a sort of gift for you all.” He held up a jar that held a white, formless blob that floated aimlessly in it’s enclosure.  
“Jeez, couldn’t you at least have poked some holes in this thing? Us souls need to breathe too, yknow!” A familiar voice piped up from the jar. Sam’s eyes widened. Was that really….  
“For the last time, Max, dead people can not breathe. They are dead. Stop whining.” Satan turned back to the crowd, now all shocked. “You’ll have to excuse him, he’s not used to being dead and he has been an absolute nuisance about it the whole time we were travelling.”  
“I thought you usually kept souls on hardcore lockdown for all eternity,” Sam said, staring at the soul of his best friend in the jar and recalling all the trouble the two of them had gone through to free their friends, “Why are you giving him back so easily?”  
“Well, I wanted to keep him down with me and make him repent for every single sin he’s ever committed for all eternity,” Satan started, “But as soon as I brought his soul to the office and everyone saw him, they practically rioted. It was chaos. I could barely keep countless fights from breaking out from his presence alone. Stinky and Skun-ka'pe were especially miffed, considering he was the direct cause of their demise. He enjoyed watching the carnage, of course, but after the whole soda poppers ordeal I am not dealing with another uprising. Not for another thousand years or so, at least, so I’m giving him back to you until my worker’s deaths are less fresh in their minds and they stop being so angry about them.”  
He handed the soul in the jar to Sam, and turned to leave. Sam stared at the jar for a few seconds, before calling after Satan, “Thank you.”  
Satan turned his head to look at him. “Don’t mention it. I’ll come back to collect both of you soon enough.” And with that, he walked out of the tunnel, leaving everyone to stare in stunned silence.  
“Can somebody PLEASE get me out of this thing?!” Max piped up. “I thought being a brain was bad, but this is worse! I can’t even float around and wreak havoc!”  
“Oh, sorry little buddy,” Sam said. He uncapped the jar and Max’s soul immediately flew out and did a few laps around the room before settling down next to Sam once more.  
“Finally, FREEDOM! Thanks for lettin’ me out,” he said. Then, he noticed the clone shell and floated over to it. “What’s this thing?”  
“Oh, uh, it’s nothing…” Sam said, suddenly regretting several recent desperate choices.  
“Sam got me to try to clone you to bring you back, but the result is just this empty shell of a body,” Momma Bosco explained. “It has no personality or conscious thought. It kind of just...is,”  
“Well that’s awfully convenient. Corporeality, here I come!” Before anyone could say anything, Max’s soul posessed the shell, and it came to life before everyone’s eyes.  
Max looked himself over, admiring all of his new features. He felt his softer ears, checked his sharp claws, and shook his spiky tail. He seemed very happy with his new form, but then something dawned on him.  
“Wait, where’s my…” He patted himself down and then checked his inventory to no avail, panic starting to set in.  
“...looking for this?” Sam kneeled down and held out the item Max was so frantically looking for.  
“My luger!” Max exclaimed, taking it and grinning from ear to spotted ear. “Where’d you get it?”  
“I kind of figured your other form wouldn’t make it, so I swiped it from your inventory to remember you by.” Sam smiled fondly as Max waved his gun around, then fired a few test bullets into the floor.  
“Now I know where you keep that thing,” he said with a smirk.  
“It’s still none of your damn business,” Max said, putting it away, “But thank god you saved it. Otherwise I’d probably just go mad.”  
Sam stood up and held out his hand, which Max took immediately. “You say that as if you aren’t mad already.”  
“Oh yeah,” Max said, following Sam out of the cloning facility. “The two of us are like the hatter and the hare!”  
“You crack me up, little buddy.”


End file.
